Sunday 21 February 2010

Down and Out

I guess you guys noticed I have been absent for quite some time now. The last couple of weeks have been, well uuhm, not quite happy. In January Dull's grandma passed away - after a decade of Alzheimer's, followed by a friends mom one week later. And after that, we tried to exhale, take a deep breath and go on. Everything went fine, until a week ago. Dull's other Grandmother went into the hospital, and after a dreadfull week of examinations and such, she passed on this Friday, at the age of 94.  Alltough she was Dull's Nana, and not mine, I find myself missing her dearly. My own grandparents have been gone for almost a decade now, and I was so happy that Dull still had his grandmothers. There is something so comforting in visiting these old ladies, hearing there stories about the yesterdays (over and over again...). I am so, so glad she attended our wedding in 2008 and I really regret she didn't get to see any of our children. She already had quite a couple of great-grand-children, but not ours. She often asked my mother in law 'if there was already going on something over there'... I am glad we went to see her on Wednesday, we had a chance to talk, kiss, and hug a little. This Wednesday will be her funeral.
I am really done with all of this. 2010 is starting to be a very terrible year, and I am having a hard time keeping my head up and go on. I have to tell myself this can not get any worse, that both the nana's got to a very respectfull age, and that their lives have been beautifull. They wouldn't want me to be sad.
But I am.
Sorry.

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